November is testing me in all ways, and honestly I don't have much to write right now as I'm still in the initial modes of processing all the information this new month, and end of decade has to offer.
All I know is, I've discovered Atypical, and it's changed my life. I'm still cooking my ass off. I'm still consistent in blogging and meaningful Monday-ing
New music is coming soon. I fell off for a week and some change from dance work because of family stuff going on. I prefer and need my chosen family to my biological and I'm not complaining, I'm grateful for family. Said biological family is just always going to have to have a barrier with me until I see that some changes are made, and when they are we can happily revisit relationships and building if both parties find it appropriate. It's very cold in Chicago, that's not new. Outside of my comfort zone is the only place I seem to exist these days, unless I'm in bed or in my husband's arms. My social anxiety is decreasing, amen.
My self-love is increasing. I am here, we all are figuring it out, and my capacity for love is growing. I'm leaving for the opportunity that's about to shift my life in a way that it's never been shifted before (upgraded in a way i've never upgraded before) in two months. I still need to change my passport. I still need to start buying shit. I need a new computer. I need a new phone. (literally need not just tryna upgrade here) My levels of faith, trust and belief are being extended to levels that I've never gone before but I am grateful for it all. I now know and understand the scripture: "though He slay me, I will trust Him" and repeat it more often than I ever have in the last two-three weeks. Birute at Conte is a Godsend. James and Amanda at Conte are Godsends. My friends that are family are Godsends. I, am a Godsend. Even with and through it all, the bitter and the sweet, I am still 100 percent that bish.
Keep fighting folks... if you're going through hell, keep going... cuz why the fuck would you stop IN hell?
PS, married sex is still better sex... amen.
With all of my love,