Hey babes :) Happy Write-It-Wednesday!! I'm excited to keep up with expressing my thoughts and learning yours via this platform, its exciting, refreshing and all about connection which is why we're all here on the same planet anyways :)
With that said, let's jump right into it. Today's topic is an opinion I have that I have found to legitimately be unpopular amongst the creatives I know and see via social media platforms.... at the end, I'll tag on one or two more unpopular opinions I have and I hope you share some of yours, this a safe space or whateverrrr *haha* Here goes:
Popular opinion of many creatives I know: You shouldn't ask your friends to work for free or collaborate for free, or expect your friends to give you free tickets to their events because if you do...we wont flourish because we're giving out too many freebies.
Jasmin's Unpopular opinion: The only people I will work for and with for free, are my friends. The only people I will comp tickets to my shows and events, are my friends. Otherwise, pay up. And this idea, will lead to more paying friends, friends that offer to pay when I don't need it, and expand my network to the ones that must always, pay up.
Let me elaborate-- the whole concept of working for free is a conversation in and of itself.. and baby truthfully unless its a legit friend, I currently don't do it anymore (saves for a later date). However, I don't quite understand not allowing the people that support me the most(whether that be mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially, etc) and believe in me to have more access to me and my art form than that of the general public. It just personally doesn't make sense to me. It also brings up an idea for me that I think is prevalent in our society as a whole, you burn those closer to you than not. You real careful and kind to your rude ass boss, but save your fury for your bestie at the end of the day *not saying unprofessionalism is cute, just saying... you can get somebody together professionally* You stay with your trifling spouse and keep shelling out for them when they aren't doing any work to be a better person, but you nickle and dime your bestie who has held you down and been your A1 since day 1.. it's a toxic cycle, and we've all been guilty to some degree, and I think it's learned... and for me I think it applies to my unpopular opinion... and I'm doing my best to unlearn it in all areas of my life!
This of course comes with boundaries, BUT SO DO ALL RELATIONSHIPS... and no one told me that. Ever. Firstly, we have to actually BE friends... not peers or acquaintances... or colleagues...and I think that's where most of my argument lies. I think if we're legit friends, no thoughts about your support cuz I know sometimes you won't even ask to come or for me to do things for free, because when you got it, we got it. that's friendship *at least for me*
Also, the hope is that since we're friends and I'm providing you with unlimited opportunities to support me, you'll take them... and consequently start inviting people outside of our circle to feast their eyes or partake in whatever art I'm coming with... which will bring in more money, and networking.
I'm almost nervous to say this next part because people love to misconstrue, and cancel culture is at an all time high, and it's because millennials are in a dog fight right now, for pay, for equal rights, for humane treatment and I GET IT, I AM IN THE FIGHT WITH YOU! with that said:
PAY IS NOT JUST MONEY. Now, when booking people WHO ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND AT ALL DO NOT OFFER TO PAY THEM IN EXPOSURE UNLESS YOU ARE PUTTING MFS ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA AND ELLEN, AND EVEN THEN DON'T EXPECT A YES. OTHERWISE THIS EXPOSURE NOT GONE PAY MY RENT, PERIOD.
Consequently, from my friends, I feel fulfilled when we've collabed on something i truly believe in and made shit shake WHEN WE AINT HAVE NO BUDGET. Those are the people I wanna decide what to do with the MILLION dollar budget, because that's on the way baby! *remember believe is our word for October*
I guess what I'm saying is... don't expect to be at the top of the mountain when you wasn't down in the trenches. Period. Now all of this said, don't abuse your friends. Sometimes don't always ask for free, let them offer. Sometimes offer dinner, or lunch, or a gift card to their favorite department store.... Sometimes offer to add your art and ideas to theirs just because you believe.
But this whole, yes we friends but you need to pay up automatically thing? It's not my jig... not if we really friends. And don't get it twisted, me and my friends WHEN THERE IS A BUDGET, WE SIGN CONTRACTS AND INVOICES AND BILL MFS LIKE WE WOULD SALLY SUE CUZ THATS BUSINESS AND PROFESSIONAL. But please believe, we comping each other like a Mf... because right now we local, but baby we going global... and since youre my friend you'll be comped at the United Center just like I comped you when I was singing in somebody's living room... cuz you were down to come and support either way.
And the same with the budget... you asked me to sing for something and gave me a thank you card, or dance because you
needed a vision to come to life for free... and i believe that when you're sponsored sis... you won't forget me.... and at the end, God sees all baby. AINT NOBODY GETTING AWAY WITH NOTHING.
Treat your people good yall, we not here in physical form for forever....
"good people bring out the good in people."
With all of my love,
PS... 2 more unpopular opinions I have
1. i think we should all eat with our hands more.
2. I think there should be more healthy sex groups for people to join in person *almost like a sex bible study, sorry mommy lol* for people that wanna keep sexy spark alive, get new ideas on things that have worked and haven't worked... etc... and I think these groups should exist without the notion that A. the people involved in the group wanna have sex with anyone but their partner. B. It don't have to be fancy shit... it could just be a simple pillow under the butt that'll change your life. lmao
See you next week babes,