Happy Wednesday lovers, mama's ready to write.
The word for May is Confidence... matter fact, Godfidence. I mean mama's depending like never before and I must be confident in this. I am a homeowner now. We have upgraded to a beautiful apartment within the property that we own and I'm really just taking it all in. I'm making sure to be REALLY kind and gentle to and with myself– as I wake up each morning like wow God.... you're so worthy.... I'm so worthy!
CONFIDENCE IN MY WORTHINESS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE AT THIS NEW LEVEL IN MY LIFE. God has upgraded ya girl, so it's time to act, speak, think, be––accordingly. I love it, and it's an exciting challenge lol.
Yesterday was my second year anniversary of marriage. I moved into the building we own on Friday. My mother is alive and well and felt loved on Mother's day. I'm 25, happily married, an owner, present and FUTURE bright. living, LOVING, whole-heartedly... I'm going to live in a treehouse for a week on an island, two weeks from today. I have so many bright, creative ideas that I know God has given me the tools and determination to execute and opportunities are FINDING ME..I'm in awe. If you would've told me this would be my literal life right now, I would've laughed because I would've said yeah that's my ideal and those are my dreams but I'm not worthy of them. Same way I used to be about my gifts.... yeah singing, dancing, orating, welcoming warmth, motherly nurture all come very naturally to me.... but no, how could God give me these gifts.. .entrust me with such beauty? I am not worthy.... A FUCKING LIE THAT I FINALLY BELIEVE TO BE A LIE.
I mean wow... talk about breakthrough– I had to break myself for God first though. I said to my love Talia Grace the other day that the cost of your new life is your old one....and Jesus already dies for all my sins so the debt is cleared. AND to live whole-heartedly in joy and gratitude no matter the circumstance, it's gone cost you your trauma and ties to it, it's gone cost you your marriage to fear, it's gone cost you the story your ego has made up about how shame is your birthright. Are you willing to pay up? CUZ I AM, I HAVE AND NOW? I'm living my fucking best life. Mamas on a whole nother level, and a piece of it has to do with marrying Tevin Erik Taylor.... I'll share with you a message I sent my bestie yesterday that I think a lot of people think it's the exact opposite:
"I knew I wasn’t ready to marry Tevin. But I knew it was right and the brave thing to do. That was my first time depending on God fully with another person. And since I’ve married this man I have transformed into an entirely different person and she’s failed and gotten better. I knew this decision would do this, make me grow, force me to do exactly what I know I am to do with my life— feel and love whole heartedly, wisely, and unconditionally and know that I am worth the same"
And baby....we are here. these 2 years aint come easy.. I'd genuinely say there were two SERIOUS moments where we were like.... are we really gonna be.... the Taylors? But we had to learn: marriage is a choice. a daily fucking choice. your vows? are you choosing to make the same choices lmao and finding new ways to do it. period. if you not down to do that, date physically different people because baby you're gonna get multiple personalities in a marriage or monogamous relationship!
I am so honored that I have done the work over the last two years to uncover who God has created me to be. But frankly, I had to get to the point where I was ready to pay up. I mean SICK OF MY OWN SHIT, to the point where I was real honest like... I can't live like this... I cannot; and He carried me, and kept His Hand on me, and cradled every fall, and turned every tear into a river of remedy... God turned my grief to GRACE. woo jesus, chills as I type.. I was ready to give up on living my best life yall.. I was one of those people that thought happiness was not for me. Jesus!!!
I'm so grateful that my TONE about my life and Self have changed. I'm worthy yall and I don't just believe it, I know it. CONFIDENCE is the word for May, and I'm confident that on this new level God has already provided all of our help and needs. I'm wishin the same breakthrough for you. YOURE WORTHY. YOURE WORTHY. YOURE WORTHY. IN THIS BODY. IN THIS TIME. IN THIS LIFE. IN THIS CITY. WITH OR WITHOUT THAT RELATIONSHIP. WITH OR WITHOUT THAT HABIT. STUCK OR MOVING BABY... YOURE WORTHY... you literally start breathing different when you recognize and honor that. I'm so proud of me..I'm so proud of the woman I was, am and am becoming because all are me... and Jasmin? Is a gift from God....literally.
you better feel the same way about your damn self baby. cuz you here, what you gone do with all your worthiness and greatness? you better use it to bring earth-side whatever God put in ya cuz we need it. I. got so much coming yall... music, authorship, cooking, dance and choreography... modeling...it's COMING to you because CONFIDENCE IN THE FACT THAT IM WORTHY HAS MADE ITS WAY TO ME and I'm no longer afraid to not just be in the room, but to own it... and I no longer want to be in rooms that God has not pre-destined for me to go into and went before me. amen and ase. Mama's ready to expand into the fullness of God Almighty, and it's about to go the fuck UP. MAMA'S WORTHY. MAMA'S WHOLE.
If you wanna be a blessing to our household cuz expansion from a studio to a 2 bedroom, yard and 2 car garage does require help here's how:
Cash App: $JasWill
And if you ain't go no money, a blessing and well wish is always accepted <3
So with that– Hello and nice to meet you. Allow me, with all of my love to re-introduce myself.. mama is whole:
Mrs. Jasmin Dominique Taylor :) A wise young lady, with Godfidence... and a story that is worth sharing so you may see, know, and indulge in the wonders of our maker.
Until next time,