Hey lovers.
Jas here. Happy Wednesday. Happy November. Happy Holiday Season. I'm gonna get straight to the point now, because no reason to beat around the bush.
I recognize that I typically am the first to not only ask questions, but to ask as many as I need to until I'm clear. I've recognized that this is not the trend of many around me, and it has me curious about people's perception about what's associated with knowledge. One of the best pieces of advice my mother ever gave me was "If you don't know, SAY I DON'T KNOW. There's nothing wrong with not-knowing." I had to be in about second or third grade, and I remember that conversation in the car until this day. The conversation was sparked by something she'd asked me, presumably about school, and I found myself trying to finesse an answer... I wasn't lying, I just didn't know the exact answer to her question... she stopped me, and said what she did above.
Till this day, I hear these words in my head consistently. From my personal relationships all the way to my work. Because I do, I use them.
I realize it makes me the first in a room to ask questions even though many people and I have shared confused glances. I don't like confusion.. at all. So I've always been prone to going with the flow, while also gaining as much knowledge as I can because there's already so much unknown. No, I'm not out here reading all the encyclopedias ever, or keeping up with every Guinness World Record- but in situations or people I'm involved in an/or with, I try my best to know as much as possible. And when I don't, I ask. The trick is the balance between not assuming, and knowing.... but that's for another day babes, another day.
Many people don't ask questions. I notice it in meetings, in ballet class, in romantic partnerships, in friendships, in work spaces... and once they're corrected they seem to lose confidence versus gain it. I'm here to tell ya, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, ASK. THERE IS NO HARM IN NOT KNOWING.
Ask questions!! Sometimes people feel like they have to know it all because knowledge comes with this sense of power, confidence, and steadfastness. When you know something, your posture is assured. Remember though, no one knows everything...even the things they're "supposed to know," so just ask. Asserting THAT power.... THAT confidence..... THAT steadfastness... AND that HUMILITY?? You'll ascertain so much more in the world! It'll keep you curious too!
Sometimes you ask stupid shit and then after you ask it you know, lol. THATS OKAY, we all do that too. Try to keep that one more minimal than asking some shit that'll actually help you that you don't know.
Sometimes you're gonna learn shit you feel you don't need to know. Keep asking questions anyway.
Sometimes you're not gonna learn a damn thing... keep asking questions. Keep tapping into that humility that says I'm willing to know. The confidence that says I can not know something and still be full of knowledge and resource... and that those things don't determine your sense of belonging!
Sometimes you ask and people are grateful, and they thank you with a smile, or a joke or an exhale that lets you know you just provided them with relief.
Sometimes you get a response that says literally or figuratively: "that's a good question"
Ask y'all, and before you do/ start chatting away with a simple completely uninformed opinion, SAY I DON'T KNOW. Cuz a lot of time I hear people speaking on things that they don't know. Now all knowledge isn't free (unfortunately) but where there's a will honey, there's a way! The path begins with... a question. Also, saying I don't know is the perfect most honest response when people are talking to you about some shit you:
A. don't care about
B.Don't wanna know about
C. Don't wanna really talk about and explore.
You can simply tell the truth: I don't know. :) Then you can decide if you wanna move forward and find out or let it 'lone.
Side-note: Don't suppress what you're interested in and wish to know more of/about. Ask.
I tend to have the opposite problem my friends. Mama has in the past dumbed down *for lack of a better term, not that knowing less or differently than someone makes you dumb* for those around that DON'T know. Feeling as though educating them would make them upset or uncomfortable... because as I mentioned before... sometimes people don't feel encouraged after you inform them, even if you do so nicely!
However, mamas coming out of that. I could give a rats booty what you think about what I KNOW. If you'd like to know what I know, if the circumstances permit, I will share. If they don't I will respectfully tell you I'm not in a position to share at the moment... or circumvent the conversation in a way where you don't even know thats what just happened :)
Also, if you're talking about something I know, and you talking like you know it and you don't.... when the talking stick gets to me, mama will make that clear too.
No more being uncomfortable with what I know spiritually, mentally, physically, academically.. etc. Nor will I continue to be uncomfortable with the tenacity, grit, grace and success I exemplify in efforts to seek and learn information. No more dimming it down. No more making it smaller to make others not feel so alone. You aren't alone on this road of life, and we also are in different lanes. Period...
If that's you, stop dimming it. Shine bright. Keep asking questions and seeking. Don't act like you don't know the answer in a meeting cuz you're youngest or not expected to know. Don't act like you don't how to communicate because people near you don't. Don't act like you don't know the step because the rest of the cohort doesn't. The list goes on and on... Make sure you're believing in you and what you know. And that anyone not comfy can.... kick rocks... *lol*
If you're the person that don't ask enough questions and is confused and/ or feels ashamed of not knowing an answer or too proud to ask? Relax boo, take a breather, and fix your mouth to ask. It's your birthright babe, to ask and seek all that your heart and mind desire!! *within healthy reason lol, again, another day babes, another day*
All in all, if you don't know, ask. If you do know, don't act like you don't and share what you can. Both require confidence. Both require honesty. Both require, strength and power. Both require humility. We all just tryna be out here knowing anyway, duhhhh.
With all of my love
,
Mrs. Taylor