Hiya! Babes, you know what day it is, it's Wednesday and we writing!
Today's message is simple, I'm a gal that struggles with perfectionism. I'm working on it and here's how. Recently in 'Daring Greatly' by Brené Brown I read a few things about perfectionism:
It's a lot about performance and pleasing, and those are just the antithesis of being completely yourself. I am a high performer, naturally, I just am. I do what I do, well... and when I get my mind AND my heart set something? Aw man, it's over with. The trick is, knowing what to do and when to do it.
I've been on a nice new daily regime that I've been hitting in the year. Things that I do regardless of how I feel.. however... how I feel is pretty important on the daily, so while I do appreciate that "sacrificing your future on the altar of your feelings" is a thing because it is easy to say "I'm feeling the need to rest"and delete your whole day, and do that for days in succession, and look up and realize you honestly were being a little lazy and riding the feeling train too hard, it's important to honor what you are feeling and balance when and how to use your resources of energy, time, focus, talents, etc.
In Daring Greatly she shares an excerpt from a colleague about how perfect is the opposite of enough... good enough specifically. I'm paraphrasing but the excerpt goes something like "the 20 minute walk is better than the four mile run I don't. The Chinese take-out dinner I host is better than the fancy dinner party I don't." For me it looks like "the 10 minutes of piano practice I did do today is better than the 30 minutes just written in my planner" "the chair improvisation is better than the full out choreography I never share or make" etc....
So y'all, I'm working on really being okay with good enough. good enough is just THAT, GOOD ENOUGH. Say it with me! Brené also talks about how the opposite of scarcity is not abundance and MORE than enough, it is simply enough. I'm working and wrestling with that, because I believe it to be true, and I'm also still exploring the fact that I feel that abundance is a part of my life and nature... working on my perspective.
With this said, I've been crushing my days, having the most successful days, and I haven't had an off-day in ten days, and that just doesn't sit well with me. I know that the EASY thing for ME to do is perfect – push through, go hard, check off the list, and attach my worthiness, success and self-trust to what I've completed for the day/week. Instead, I'm gonna do the hard thing, and pause... rest, and say I'm worthy and I've done enough because I AM enough. Brené talks about that, how whole-hearted people know when to say ENOUGH.
I'm learning, and I still have time and I'm recognizing when I'm about to fall into old patterns, and I'm stopping in my tracks cuz I recognize the traps *applauds self*
I'm gonna start doing something I read in Rising Strong by Brené... my current read. I'm going to write myself a permission slip. Permission to take the rest of the day and all of Thursday, off and do whatever I please, with joy, gratitude and silliness. I mean I'm gonna physically write this on a post-it note because it's that deep y'all. I don't wanna just talk like I'm worthy and believe it, I wanna walk it, be it, live it.
I encourage you all to do the same, and start small by doing what you can. We're all doing our best with what we have, and it's important to remind yourself of that about YOU. I'm doing my best, and since I'm enough, so is my best. Any one who ain't with it, that's frankly not my business unless you're in my arena, and that's very few people.
I love you and I wish you well on this Hump Day where there are 3 strains of COVID, new leadership and old problems, and the end of a month that has encompassed much. Please read Daring Greatly and Rising Strong, they're sure to change and honestly save some parts of your beautiful life. I feel more brave, and beautiful after I read them, cuz I'm not alone... this badass shame and vulnerability researcher struggles with the same shit my 25 year old ass does too, and that just sits well with me.. cuz we're working our asses off to be and do our best, and it looks different everyday.
With all of my love,
Until next time...