Ready, Surrender, Restructure!
Happy Thursday, I'm a day late because date night unexpectedly had to fall on Wednesday this week.... and with that we'll get into today's topic... restructuring.
Typically, date night hadn't really taken priority in my life, especially since me and my hubs live together. However, after my lovely solitude in Japan filled with prayer, breakthroughs and beauty(and many many amazing sermons from Sarah Jakes-Toure and Pastor Toure via One Church Podcast).... I said... there are some changes I must surrender to in my life. Notice I didn't say changes I have to make, as that sounds like I'm creating the change. Surrender is a little different, as the change has already been made, and by surrendering I'm simply acknowledging and honoring it. *pause for an amen*
What're the things I need to restructure in my life? It seemed to be my entire life, although I realize the real work was my mind. Why? Because I wanna be so aligned with God and my purpose that I can possess everything attached to my name and for all of those around me to catch the overflow. Period.
With that said I journaled a "less _____; more _____" list that I think examples things that have come up in spirit that it's just time to change. Some things are also just simply stated:
Less boundaries with God, More boundaries with people
I am currently restructuring my physical space in Chicago. It's time to buy some more "adult" furniture, it's time to hang more photos, it's time to buy a new couch, it's time to reconfigure our furniture within our apartment.... think less Dorm and more intentional adult home space.
Less we live together and see each other daily even if on autopilot; more specific time set aside weekly to be romantic and enjoy each other with no distractions.
Less getting lost on social media; more time limits set for social media.
Less use of my electronics for friend turn ups, business, facetimes and emails only; more use of them for facetimes with grandparents, parents, siblings
Less clubbing and drinking everyone under the table; more activities that have to do with the earth and getting your body moving.
Less mixed drinks; more bourbon or whisky on the rocks.
Less hard alcohol; more beer or wine.
Less drunk; more on the verge of TIPsy ;) hahaha
Less outings with only all of our single friends; more outings and experiences with other millennial couples, married and not!
Less thinking from a place of deficit; more belief that I am a conqueror.
Dancing everyday, more than once a day.
More gentle kisses with hubs.
More dates with my mom.
Less Worrying and anxiety; more prayer and peace.
Making breakfast for me and my husband daily.
Less complaining and more complimenting.
More Football on Sundays and Mondays.
less judgement; more reminding of grace.
Less thinking what If and more thinking when
More sharing of my gifts on platforms provided, less caring what you think.
More motivation for others in my life; less caring about those that aren't motivated by me.
Having one day a week of total, complete REST.
More daily fashion. As a dancer, it can be easy to get caught in the dance swag... sweats, cute hoodie... socks... warm ups... leo... tights... legging.. whatever. I love fashion, and I'm surrendering to the fact that I'll carry a bit bigger of a back pack to buss a fit after class :)
More self confidence in the fact that I don't give a shit about what a lot of people give a shit about, and not feeling anxious about what they'll think about me not giving shit... and if they'll take that personally.
More family time.
More modesty when it comes to my wardrobe. Im starting to really really value the art of leaving more to the imagination whilst providing an outline... wink face.
less hanging with people that don't really care about or support me; more being comfy with my small circle(s) and all the support within them.
less being socially anxious, more social open... Many don't know that in the past I've had social anxiety in because I hadn't enjoyed partaking in interactions where I couldn't to some degree control (queue trust issues by Drake, eek!) Now, I can go with the flow, and if your flow sucks, I can get out of the water.
less internalizing other peoples feelings; more emotional boundaries.
less listening to music talking about codeine, fucking other people's wives, or murder, and fancy digitally manufactured beat, more listening to music talking about encouragement, joy, love, with live instrumentation. this isn't shade, I'm just clear my spirit legit be needing to be fed more, and music is so spiritual.
less advice seeking from people, more advice seeking from the source of all life.
more use, less waste.
More public praise. (more on this later)
less poor communication when miffed; more positive conflict resolution (ESPECIALLY WITH MY HUSBAND. we tend to be meanest or snarkiest to those closest to us)
That said, MORE FORGIVENESS like damn! lol
more quick to apologize versus quick to hit the woo wop da bam portion of my reasoning.
More dance. More singing. more acting! More choreographing.
more vocal studio!
... last but not least more belief.
I've gained a momentum and clarity within my life that I must upkeep. I can't explain it too hard, I'm still processing- I'm just convicted to step into this next season of my life. And it's the season of the promised land... things that were promised to my ancestors and all of their descendants... promises made by the most high... abundance, everlasting life, peace that transcends all understanding, a land flowing with milk, bread, honey and wine.... and guess where I'm moving in 3 months for half of a year? that land... literally, geographically... and it's no mistake... it's time for consistency in a new way.
All of the things mentioned are things that sound good in theory and things that 'good natured or good hearted people should do' but they're hard and we're human. Failing is in our DNA, otherwise we'd be perfect and God. These things require action, spiritual and mental study... they require restructured sleeping habits, eating habits, dismantling of defense mechanisms, tears, prayer, organizational skills, budgeting, and the list goes on.
If I wanna get up and make breakfast, I gotta be in bed earlier.
If I wanna have more faith, I have to be more rooted in the word, and seeking guidance in breaking it down.
If I wanna be kinder to my husband, I have to be kinder to myself.
If I wanna eat out less, I have to prepare my food and grocery shop according to my schedule.
If I want more peace, I have to develop and figure out what mantra, what song, what prayer brings me back to that... and it goes on and on for each example!
I'm convinced. I want to live my best life and manifest everything within me (greatness I'm not even aware of) so, I have to follow the call on my life and do what's coming up in my spirit. I have to listen to that inner voice that says: go to bed, don't stay up all night binging the show. that says: get up, get your day started in enough time to make breki. that says: cook instead of buying out. that says: nah, don't even drink tonight. that says: you can just order wine even though you used to go hard with the shots. that says: old you would've called that person where there was no appropriate boundary, but new you.. is going to pray for em and leave em be... even though that's new to you.
the voice that says: "be anxious for nothing, but in all things by prayer and thanksgiving make known your requests known to God"
You gotta believe once you change your mind, God has done the rest. I'm in the thick of it right now. I got back from Japan Sept 11th, a Wednesday. I allowed myself the weekend to get back adjusted to American time. Since Monday the 16th, I've been in the gym everyday except Sunday. I've been in ballet and/ or a contemporary, modern or pilates class every weekday. I've cooked breakfast everyday. I've been on three dates with my husband, two new experiences! I've ordered an entire fall wardrobe. I've started furniture shopping. I've hit meaningful Monday every Monday, and I've blogged each week.... and I've been to the studio because new music is in the works.... I'll save that for another post though. I've also had a gallon of water, everyday.
I just wanted to check in and let you know that it's okay to live your best life, and for that to look different than the life you've been leading. Submit to your change(s). You know them, it's the thing on your brain right before bed, or first thing in the morning... or during your quiet time that comes into your mind. It's the thing you'd change if you "could"... that means the change is already there, just walk in it...Trust God. It's okay to Change for the better, and it's okay to leave anyone who doesn't support it exactly where they are, wishing them nothing but love.
P.S. There's no time limit on a changed mind. Beware of folks that say: "you only been feeling like this for a couple weeks" or "you just started let's see where you are in blah blah blah....." you sound like a person that needs to surrender to some changes too. A new attitude is a new attitude, period, and all it takes is one decision to change your life!
Okedokes loves, that's all the time I have. Remember perfection isn't the goal, purpose is. keep reading, I'm gonna keep writing.
with all of my love,