Happy Wednesday my sweet lovers. Early chat today cuz mama wants you to think on this one a lil hard because it came to me during my massage therapy session yesterday and I instantly knew, I have to write about this. Then this morning during my faith journaling the message was about singing your OWN song and KNOWING God made you beautiful as you truly are.
Know that I call the life-force that exists within us all, God–if it goes by another name for you, insert for yourself :)
For the past couple of weeks I've been really wondering why God isn't moving me directly (at least in my mind) to what I know we've discussed my life is going to look like (me and God real tight, we be talking and shit.) I'm like, I know I'm putting out what I need to be in terms of my resources– time, money, energy, focus, gifts, talents, and concern to be RECEIVING some tangibles that I'm just not getting back at the moment. I been saying to my closest friends, I'm having some really big personal, hidden wins, but frankly I'm tired of those. Yes growth is great, wisdom is great, healthy communication and flourishing boundaries in relationships is great, whole-heartedness and knowing who's in my arena is great.... where da money doe? Where's the upgrade in space and tangible quality of living? Where's the acknowledgement of my gifts and talents that would propel them to the next levels and platforms? Where's the input?
And then yesterday, as I was meditating on the mantra 'I receive' because I wanted God to tell me a CLEAR ass answer to a dilemma I was facing on whether or not to accept some work.... the answer came in like a flood. Now, before I give you the answer, and ya better keep reading cus she's juicy.... re-read the top of this paragraph... matter of fact, let me restate it for you: "And then yesterday, as I was meditating on the mantra 'I Receive'.... the answer came in like a flood" Anybody else be asking for answers and signs but NOT MAKING ROOM and then confused why you not receiving the answer? Cue the song Make Room by Jonathon McReynolds.
I HAD TO MAKE ROOM. See, I heard Sarah Jakes-Roberts say once that God is a gentleman that way *or take whatever pronoun you'd like, God doesn't have a gender, come on somebody* but the point is... God's not gonna FORCE you, un-lovingly to do shit... read, trust, make room, cry out, believe, have faith, move, nada. God is just gone be there the whole time with an open embrace waiting on you to open the doors of your heart and mind... waiting on you to do what? RECEIVE this perfect love, peace and care. Jesus... chills as I'm writing... I had to MAKE ROOM.
Okay, now onto what came in like a flood as ONE THOUGHT because I was in the proper heart posture... Jesus, because I made room... to receive.
"Jasmin, you're still attaching input to output, and if that was the case you wouldn't even be here... it is I that gives you life, you think I only wake you up for what you can do for and give to me? Sis... mama....child of mine... you don't even give me you sometimes.. my love for you and your life is not tied to what you can give me.. and I gotta get you out that before I prosper what you put OUT" *JAW DROP*
GOD is teaching me to receive, he's teaching me INPUT. Input that's not tied to ANY man, accomplishment, or spirit other than the one in ME.
I'm a natural giver. I can put out... I mean mama can DO–do you understand me? I am EXCELLENT. God is literally like, yeah you can give... but can you receive? Can you receive my wisdom and it be enough? Can you receive my peace and it be enough? Can you receive MY (YOUR OWN) recognition, the genuine uplifting and saving of your mind, your soul and BELIEVE YOU ARE ENOUGH? Can you receive genuine joy; which is that healthy communication and boundaries in relationships... when you know who's in your arena and that you're never alone in a time where death and deceit are abounding? CAN YOU RECEIVE JASMIN? Because I know you can give, and I appreciate you wanting to give and share and show me through the gifts I've given you according to your purpose that I've called you to... but before that... you gotta receive mama.
Anybody struggle to receive? I mean from love, to money to grace to life's changes... I'm here to tell you you're not alone. It's hard for me... All of that came to me and I said... Jesus... I'm not quite ready for the things you've shown me... but the fact that I'm ready to RECEIVE THIS WORD means I'm one step closer... Oh God, you ARE preparing me. So now, my focus is shifted. I'm EAGER to receive. Oh God, I receive you. I have so much. I'm so grateful. I trust you, what's coming is already here.... and I trust that when it's time you'll reveal it to me.
See that? I received that knowledge and moment, that God GOT ME. And God's got you too. And maybe you're not ready to be putting out... for output, cuz you need to learn input. Or maybe you going crazy on the input and you need some FAITH AND COURAGE to PUT OUT... it works both ways babes. Pray and ask whatever you call life-spirit to HELP you SEEK and KNOW what boat you in RIGHT NOW! God what is your, our priority for my life, RIGHT NOW? Cuz I wanna be so aligned that we want the same things for me. At least... that's where I'm focused on being. We all gone be in one or the other (input or output boat) at some point in time, but right now mamas focus is receiving, allowing God to pour into me and knowing that's enough and I'm ENOUGH. Maybe yours is allowing God to loose you, and share you with all of us.
All in all my my sweet lovers *reminder that if this one knocked you off your feet you're still sweet and a lover... you can be tough and tender.* Make Room sweet peas, you are worthy... cuz you're essentially making room for YOU.
I'll leave you with an excerpt from my Faith Journal this morning that drove things home for me, in terms of my output NOR my input being tied to anyone but God...
'I, even I, am He who comforts you and gives you all this joy. So what right have you to fear mere mortal men, who wither like the grass and disappear?' -Isaiah 51:12
You have no right to fear choosing you, regardless of input or output.. because everyday you wake up, you've been chosen. Give yourself permission to believe so and act accordingly. Make room, for you.. and watch that spill over into every area of your life.
Until next time...
With all of my love,